we are always in our own company.

always wandering, never lost. discovered my passion...and it led me to nyc. if i'm not out trying to navigate this concrete jungle, you can find me in central park. i'll be that girl in big sunglasses, sitting on a park bench, daydreaming about tomorrow.

Nars does it again. In love. 
thezoereport:

Fashion Advent Calendar, Day 9
Go for the glam at your next holiday party with this Arabian-Night-inspired eye shimmer palette by Nars.

Nars does it again. In love. 

thezoereport:

Fashion Advent Calendar, Day 9

Go for the glam at your next holiday party with this Arabian-Night-inspired eye shimmer palette by Nars.

just like me: a little high fashion, a little bit lady like and a little bit rock and roll. 

i found my dream job…

…but it’s in montana. 

i also accidentally didn’t read a job post carefully and applied for one that i THOUGHT was perfect…and turns out it would be, if it wasn’t to teach teenage male sex offenders. hmm……….

is it graduation yet?

dude, where’s my car?

today, i officially contemplated ruining my cooperating teacher’s life. for just a split second (ok, i maybe perseverated on it for the entire day…ok, maybe i still am) i thought, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to park her car in a fire zone so it could get towed away. why am i parking her car? that’s a good, freaking questions! because this morning, as i was prepping for the students to walk into the classroom, she decided to show up, handed me her keys, and asked me to park her car because she was double parked out front. soooo…i might have “accidentally” parked her car in a fire zone to get it towed (or at least get a ticket), and i might have actually kept it there, if two parents weren’t standing there to call me out. and so, i moved it…but not until the principal was standing there to see me unlock the gate and pull into the lot…a big no no…hopefully she got in trouble. 

after giving into her car parking request, i further allowed myself to not only get shut down by the special education teacher in the classroom (WHO WAS WRONG…but she is my superior) but i somehow got volunteered to be the spanish translator and esl provider for one of my students, which is not my responsibility. it turns out that, per usual, i am doing the jobs of everyone around me, completely neglecting the fact that perhaps i just need to look out for me. 

i have such a strong personality, and am generally an advocate for myself…so why do i let shit like this happen? maybe it’s my free ride to heaven…yeah, maybe that’s it. 

who’s the sucker now?!

it’s hard to enjoy football today

my team (go niners!) kicks off in a couple of hours, there are games on every channel…it should be the greatest day of my life. but my mind is consumed by the reality that today is the 10th anniversary of 9/11. ask me ten years ago and not one thought would have crossed my mind to ever go to new york again, let alone move here. yet here i am, a new york resident, and affected more, i think, by this day than i would have been had i stayed in portland, 3000 miles away from the tragedy america experienced that day.

i remember exactly where i was on that day. it was my junior year of high school,  my second day at a new school, and a late start day. i was driving across the bridge toward high school, listening to the morning show on my favorite rock station. the guys hosting the show always pulled pranks on the listeners and each other, and i enjoyed laughing at others’ expense. 

on this particular day, the first tower had just been hit, and the guy on the radio goes, “oh shit, a plane just flew into a tower at the world trade center in new york city.” he kept talking about it and i had to turn the station because i was so offended by what i thought was his joke of the morning. these guys were always a little out of line, but this was fucked up. 

i pulled up to school, starbucks in hand, still a little pissed off at how offensive the morning show, and headed into a sea of unfamiliar faces to start my second day of school. the school was silent. i checked my watch to see if i was late but i still had one minute until first period. as i walked into class, everyone was sitting there, quiet, and the teacher had just finished lecturing them about something. i didn’t know anyone, so i just sat through lecture, thinking this was the most well-behaved class i had ever seen, and that my new school had behavior management on lock. 

it wasn’t until a few hours later that i found out what i thought was a sick joke had actually happened. a boy who looked vaguely familiar to me came up to me outraged that the teachers had put a hush order on the school, and that we were not allowed to talk about what had happened this morning. how couldn’t we talk about the planes flying into the towers? why couldn’t we watch the news? this was history in the making, after all. i was crushed. humiliated that i thought it was a joke, but filled with so much overwhelming sadness, and anger, at the tragedies that had occurred that day. 

fast forward 10 years later, and here i am, niners shirt on, football on my tv, and friends waiting for me at the local sports bar. but i find it too hard to start thinking about my game yet. and, when i would usually be getting hyped up for a win over my least favorite team, the seattle seahawks, today, i am instead humbled by the events that occurred a decade ago. 

god bless america and the heroes that fight for our freedom. 11 September, 2001. You will never be forgotten.

Oh…and go niners.

it finally feels like summer

and it is almost the fall. after a bipolar summer filled with torrential downpours, a “hurricane” and “tornado”, sweltering heat and asphyxiating humidity, days as beautiful as today definitely do not go unnoticed. and, as much as i would love to hole up in my room, shades down, and sleep all day after my first day back in the teaching world (working with 3rd graders, no less), i couldn’t bear the idea of wasting a day like this. 

i was just starting to really burn out on new york and then i realized that it had been way too long since i had taken the time to appreciate the unique opportunities new york has to offer. and so i went to fashion’s night out. superficial as it may appear, it is a day dedicated to putting on your nicest duds and attempting to rub elbows with celebrities and others of the fabulous persuasion, all the while imbibing complementary champagne and purchasing things you neither need nor can afford, after all, it is also one of my favorite events in this city. there is something so inherently thrilling about dressing up in an outfit only fitting for a day such as this, wearing makeup not fit for a classroom, and appreciating the art of fashion. as i poured myself into bed last night, i sighed and thought to myself, “that was so worth it.” 

i find it so easy to fall into a routine of productivity that could so easily be replicated in any city or town anywhere in the world, completely forgetting to appreciate what i have around me. so, as i conclude my time here in the city, i am making it my personal goal to take advantage of every opportunity presented to me, and every nook and cranny of this amazing city that i live in. 

i love a good adventure. 

Want

it’s the little things,

like a falafel sandwich on an otherwise crummy day, that make everything a little better. 

had a brutal convo with the petit ami a couple of nights ago and still experiencing the hangover from it.

apparently, laying on my couch eating chocolate and drinking coffee ALL DAY yesterday wasn’t enough to cure the ouchies. luckily, i have friends of the most excellent persuasion who listen to my bitching and make me feel smiley (even if it is just the bandaid kind of smiley). 

this grown up thing is exceptionally overrated. now, where’s my chocolate…?